Two goldfish were in their tank. One said, "You man the guns, I’ll drive!" A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, “Why the long face?” How many days of the week start with the letter “t”? Two. What are they? Today and tomorrow! A rich man drives by a homeless man eating grass, the rich man pulls over and says to the homeless man, “Excuse me sir, but what are you doing?” “Well,” says the homeless man, “I lost my job a couple months ago, and my family and I, we lost everything we own, so now all we can do to survive is eat grass.” So the rich man says, “Hey why don’t you come over to my house for dinner.” “That’s really generous,” the homeless man said, “But I have a family to-” “No I insist!” the rich man said. So they all get in his car, and while they're driving down the road, the rich man says, “You’ll love it there, my grass is like a foot long!”
